He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
