i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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