Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
