So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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