don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
