it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
