I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
FUCK WHALES
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
