We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
