well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
