just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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