Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
