i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
