were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
