I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
