who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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