did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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