that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
