i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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