If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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