I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
