hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
