Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
