By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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