I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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