you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
