So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
