im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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