i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
