I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I will pee on everything he values.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
