remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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