I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
