Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was

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(517): View more from Michigan

And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.

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(716): View more from New York

Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress

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