with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
