Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
