He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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