I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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