Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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