im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
