Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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