Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
