somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
its not stalking. its research.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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