were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
