Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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