had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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