1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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