Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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