I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
