everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
