id be glad to
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize