So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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