if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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