Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
