i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
