Just cropdusted the office
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize