Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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