why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
two words: eviction party
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
