i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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