i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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