Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
