Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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