Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I am mentally ready for anal.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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