so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
